See what you want to see

Written by alejo on June 22nd, 2010

For some reason I’m missing, I only happen to see what I want to see or, more specifically, what I think I should see. During a game, if I think I don’t have any possible escape or way to survive, I’ll miss it and give up reading. And viceversa, were I to think there is a solution, I’d read till I find it.

As you may have already guessed, this brings me some hard times while playing go. It feels like if I had a reading-switcher in my mind, which would unconsciously block me from reading certain sequences, thus leading me to unexpected fights or, in this case, death and defeat.

The situation above is extracted from a game I played this week… and I’m black. Though I could have resigned by now, I still thought I had a remote chance of winning thanks to killing the C15 stones and the survival of the E6 group. However, during the middle game, I didn’t expect the huge dragon on the bottom right to be severely threatened and, therefore, I didn’t bother about its future till it was did bad. As you can see above, black is about to be cut and die.

No. Wait a second, this is a 20-25 kyu tsumego. Black lives. It took 10 seconds on my post-game review, I’m quite certain you can find it too, don’t you?

Unfortunately, I missed the right sequence during the game. All my reading was focused on sacrificing the L13 stones and connecting. In the end, I managed to kill my L13 stones and the huge dragon on the bottom right (I’m not uploading the sequence… or I’ll have nightmares for an entire month). The only excuse for this error is the first sentence of this post: I only happen to see what I want to see or, more specifically, what I think I should see. I remember being convinced that white would get what he wanted and I would lose the game. Though my mood constantly modifies my style from an all-offensive game to a big moyo strategy, it’s the first time I realise how much my game is influenced by the positivity (or lack) embedded in my  thoughts.

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5 Comments to “See what you want to see”

1. Posted by Chris, June 22nd, 2010 at 10:51 pm

Hm, what’s the tsumego answer?

2. Posted by Alejo, June 23rd, 2010 at 5:18 pm

Come on!!! Did you actually try it?

Well, I failed during the real game, too…
The solution starts with black K14, W K11 and then black’s key move at J11. Though white captures one stone, black’s atari at M11 wipes the cutting stones from the board.

3. Posted by Nate, June 24th, 2010 at 7:59 pm

Your post has me thinking. As a weak beginner (16k), I sometimes feel as if I spend the majority of my time kicking myself internally for the preposterous moves I make. I’m either unreflectively elated when surging past someone weaker than I am, or viciously self-critical. Neither, I think, lends itself particularly well to careful, thoughtful reading.

It reminds me of a game in Hikaru no Go where, in a crucial game in the pro exam against Waya, Hikaru needs to find a path to life for a black group in the corner in order to win. It looks hopeless – Waya, after carefully reading it, believes it is. But Hikaru keeps thinking of Sai, and says to himself: “Sai would find a way for that group to live.” And, focusing on the task, Hikaru finds a path.

It’s the conviction that someone with Sai’s spirit would just damn well FIND the path that leads Hikaru to be able to do the same thing.

Our spirit directs our mind to its task.

4. Posted by alejo, June 25th, 2010 at 12:12 pm

Well… that’s exactly my point. If I just knew it’s a solvable tsumego, I’d try harder… but it seems I’m lacking Sai’s spirit ;)

5. Posted by Chris, July 5th, 2010 at 9:35 pm

Oh, pretty. I missed it too. :-)

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