Alejo's Tenuki

For some reason I’m missing, I only happen to see what I want to see or, more specifically, what I think I should see. During a game, if I think I don’t have any possible escape or way to survive, I’ll miss it and give up reading. And viceversa, were I to think there is a solution, I’d read till I find it.

As you may have already guessed, this brings me some hard times while playing go. It feels like if I had a reading-switcher in my mind, which would unconsciously block me from reading certain sequences, thus leading me to unexpected fights or, in this case, death and defeat.

The situation above is extracted from a game I played this week… and I’m black. Though I could have resigned by now, I still thought I had a remote chance of winning thanks to killing the C15 stones and the survival of the E6 group. However, during the middle game, I didn’t expect the huge dragon on the bottom right to be severely threatened and, therefore, I didn’t bother about its future till it was did bad. As you can see above, black is about to be cut and die.

No. Wait a second, this is a 20-25 kyu tsumego. Black lives. It took 10 seconds on my post-game review, I’m quite certain you can find it too, don’t you?

Unfortunately, I missed the right sequence during the game. All my reading was focused on sacrificing the L13 stones and connecting. In the end, I managed to kill my L13 stones and the huge dragon on the bottom right (I’m not uploading the sequence… or I’ll have nightmares for an entire month). The only excuse for this error is the first sentence of this post: I only happen to see what I want to see or, more specifically, what I think I should see. I remember being convinced that white would get what he wanted and I would lose the game. Though my mood constantly modifies my style from an all-offensive game to a big moyo strategy, it’s the first time I realise how much my game is influenced by the positivity (or lack) embedded in my  thoughts.

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